[brigits_flame] prompt - ember

[1stmate]

Alone/Together

It never gets dark here.
The city is full of people
but is completely void of life.
That fire burned brightly once,
a lifetime ago, it seems:
everything in its path was consumed,
more than we can know.
Yet the cinders still glow
hotter than they have any right to.
Our flames burned
uncoupled. Across millions of lives,
the fight never ends.
Sentiments will always travel
without hope.
We are nothing.

We are nothing
without hope.
Sentiments will always travel;
the fight never ends.
Uncoupled across millions of lives,
our flames burned
hotter than they have any right to,
yet the cinders still glow
more than we can know.
Everything in their path was consumed
a lifetime ago, it seems:
that fire burned brightly once
but is completely void of life.
The city is full of people;
it never gets dark here.

---

author notes: truc_d_ouf's poem for week three of august used a similar reflective pattern which was shamelessly stolen for this entry, though something different came of the reflection in this piece. credit for that idea! dedicated to my platonic partner, who rambled at me over the phone for half an hour while i scribbled ideas and muttered incoherently before the poem itself would deign to be written.

Comments

[bluegerl.livejournal.com]

I've just read it twice more... it's amazing... truly. I wish I could express the thoughts that arise in me (to quote a bard) - but the pictures are... so talkative!!! The persons in the first verse are so different from the last versepersons.... and the views they are seeing are different... AND YET THE WORDS ARE THE SAME! Oh my my! Oh it's brilliant.

How long did it actually take? How you could do it with something 'formal'...golly? you've got me thinking of how to play... my goodness. what a delight! I shall have to try, if you wouldn't mind, just to.... see if I could? Won't be as gorgeous or as 'deep' as yours, probably damn flowers or something. but... the underside of a flower is as interesting as the top?

Lordy, you did something there! Congratulations, and - right - start now, tis... 7th September 2012.... can we have it in time for say.... the first week next September? (bet you'd get it done before then!!!)

LOVES and still shaking head at the brilliance! Blue.

[1stmate]

By all means, do one yourself! I'd love to see what you come up with! Like I said, I got the idea from something truc_d_ouf wrote. Pass it around! It's too much fun not to :D

I think, from the time I sat down and said, "I am going to do this despite my better impulses!" to the time I sent it off to have someone else read it, it was probably 6 hours or more. Far longer than I've spent on any other single poem ever. (Including the one that was pushing 3000 words.) And then I posted it the next day after she'd read it, and then two hours later realized I'd left out a line in the second part. Giant headdesk there.

You make me so happy. I've been staring morosely at this entry for a while, just waiting for someone to read it and say something, anything! And then you come along and leak praise and love everywhere. It's just great. I'll just be over here rolling around in your appreciation like a cat in a tub full of catnip.

[bluegerl.livejournal.com]

Lady is peering out of window looking for a large cat absolutely WRECKING her catnip (IT WAS PRETTY and all flowery and mauvy blue! ) OK go ahead and wreck it properly.... You're welcome!!!!

Bless you, Old blue.