Hmm. What is an editor supposed to do with this? It is certainly not the sort of poem one..enjoys? Which is a mark of how good it is actually. I would go beyond calling it frank. I would call it raw. Even though the truth is that it is not. It is a demonstration of the ability to use words to make them seem raw.
One thing I would suggest, and this is a pet peeve of mine with no obvious rationale at all. And that is putting the a/n at the end of the poem and not the beginning. When I read a book I never, ever read the preface first ( I know..bardi, why do you think they call them prefaces?) because I want to read without information first. And if you put it after the poem than I can say, yes, of course. Instead of looking in the poem for what you meant.
Not saying that is wrong, just giving my opinion as food for thought. Ever so powerful poem.
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dodos rolling out the edit wagon,he pauses
Date: 2012-09-15 04:11 pm (UTC)One thing I would suggest, and this is a pet peeve of mine with no obvious rationale at all. And that is putting the a/n at the end of the poem and not the beginning. When I read a book I never, ever read the preface first ( I know..bardi, why do you think they call them prefaces?) because I want to read without information first. And if you put it after the poem than I can say, yes, of course. Instead of looking in the poem for what you meant.
Not saying that is wrong, just giving my opinion as food for thought. Ever so powerful poem.